Just like most everyone these days, I am very busy. It's often hard to find time to practice viewing auras. I find it helpful to keep my cross exercise out in the open where I see it everyday and can easily take a few minutes to concentrate. Sometimes I'll be doing something else and I'll see someone's aura or an auric pair color and that will remind me to practice.
That's what happened the first time I decided to try to see my own aura in the mirror. I was sitting down vaguely staring at a bright red Santa Clause apron when I saw the auric pair color of the red. It reminded me that I hadn't practiced seeing in quite some time. I was away from home and although I had brought my cross exercise with me, I didn't have it set up and felt too lazy to find a comfortable place to practice. Since I was right next to a mirror, I decided that was the perfect opportunity to try to view my own aura.
Practicing the cross exercise had helped immensely because it taught me how to look... how to focus my eyes, what to look at, and how to see out of my peripheral vision. Within a minute I was able to see a glowing white halo around my head area - the same glow I had previously observed in other people. I have always had a long attention span for looking in the mirror and I since was particularly intrigued by seeing my own aura, I was able to stay focused for quite some time. I can't tell you exactly how long I looked, because time seems to take on a different dimension in that state of mind, but if I were to guess, I'd say it was about twenty minutes.
At that point, I started seeing some flashes of color in front of my face. They were very elusive... they didn't stay in place and if I tried to look at them, if I tried to focus on them, they went away. I could describe it as little shapes of color... squiggles, lines, and blotches. The colors were so elusive I felt like I was seeing things that weren't really there. But I'd read enough about auras at this point to know that it's common for beginners to think their eyes are playing tricks on them and I knew that I was just beginning to see glimpses of my color.
Seeing the color inspired me to practice more. I practiced again the next day with the same results. Then, the third time I practiced this exercise, I saw my own aura... bright and clear in the mirror. It was a big halo of color around my face. At times I was able to see it extend a few away from my body... other times I was only able to see the color around my face. It was like a violet cloud of smoke... it was transparent and I could still see my face, clothes, and other objects around me through it.
As I continued to look at the color, I didn't want to move... I didn't want to blink... I wanted to keep my attention on my color to make sure it was real. If I looked in a certain way or if I'd blink, the image would disappear and I'd have to concentrate again to see it. It felt like a game of hide and go seek or tag... one second it was there, the next it was gone, then it would come back again. I was afraid I was seeing things and since this is all so new to me, it's hard to remember what it looks like when I'm not experiencing it first hand.
It's hard to describe the feeling I had the first time I saw my color. At first, I wanted to think it was just like any other life event and not really anything important. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd just experienced something profound.
Immediately I began thinking of who I wanted to tell, and then had a terrible feeling that everything I'd just experienced in the past year had been a dream. A the same time, I felt intuitively that everything was going to be okay. All the pain, all the loss, any feelings of emptiness and purposelessness were gone. It was like a clearing away of the beliefs and patterns that weren't serving me. It was like suddenly it all made sense, but I couldn't describe it to you if you'd asked. I was shaking and nervous and wide awake and knew I couldn't yet grasp the implications of this.
Okay, breathe. Writing about this now, is bringing me back to that night. The next day I found something that put words to what I was feeling... it was exactly what I'd been looking for, even though I hadn't been looking for it. But I'll save that for the next post.
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