Validation and deepening of Self
What I want to write about now is the journey I have embarked on since starting to see auras. I feel like my whole world has expanded in a way that I had never even thought possible before. I feel like I have a lot to say, but I want to keep these posts relatively short, so I will break them up into multiple parts. To give you some background, I will also detail the experience that lead me from one place to the next.
As wrote previously, after seeing my aura in the mirror for the first time, I immediately went to the bookstore to look around see what I could find on the subject. There, I found Pamala Oslie's book, Life Colors. And that's where my journey began. Seeing my aura was a gateway to a much bigger picture, rather than an end itself. It's so hard to describe, because it's a shift in perception, yet if you look at me in my life, it would appear that I am doing the same actions. Yet, I am different.
First of all, seeing and learning about my aura color gave me a deep sense of knowing who I am in a way that I have never been able to articulate before. I don't think it would have had the same effect if someone had told me my color, or if I had taken a test to find out what my color was. Actually, someone did tell me my color before I saw it, which was what prompted my interest in the first place, and it didn't have the same effect on me at all. I was interested in it, of course, but he couldn't tell me much about what the color meant, at least not in the same terms that Pam could. Even still, I only had a mental image of what the actual color looked like - it wasn't real to me. Seeing it myself shifted that and gave it an entirely different meaning.
Understanding myself gave me "permission" to be myself. I didn't feel like I had to fit into someone else's mold of who they thought I should be anymore, no matter how much of an "authority" they thought they were on something. My aura color validated for me that the way I interact with the world and the way I perceive the world is just as valid as someone else's. Simultaneously, it allowed me to accept other's for who they are and to recognize that they have an equally valid way of interacting with the world as well. It is different than mine because of differing personalities and differing purposes for being on the planet.
I can describe myself to people, which is great for interviews and writing essays about myself. I can tell strangers what I am doing and what is important to me, and they understand better now because I can articulate it better. I know my weaknesses and understand why I act the way I do sometimes. I can also think of creative ways to work around them, or with them. I am not afraid of people anymore or afraid of people rejecting me in the way that I used to be. I do not feel the need to justify myself to people who are different than I am because I accept who I am and I love myself. I feel important and needed in the world and I feel like I have an articulated purpose.
It's a wonderful feeling... world's different from the way I felt a year ago. Because of this understanding, I am no longer afraid to do what is in my own best interest even though it may not be what another wants. I no longer feel the need to take another's word as sacred or as gospel and have developed a trust in myself. I can speak my truth to others without fear, and I think they appreciate that and can benefit from that honesty as well. I do no fear honesty because I do not fear myself. I wish for everybody to experience this deepening. It's empowering. It's given me confidence that I used to think was reserved for others, but now I know I deserve it as well.
It's changed my relationship with people in my past who did not accept me.... especially as a child. Though I haven't spoken with them, and won't, it's changed the way I perceive them and my relationship to them. I no longer feel that there was something "wrong" with me... I was just being me. I can love my younger self for all her glory and see the ways I was expressing my color. It's beautiful.
I really believe the world would be a much happier, creative place if everybody could have this understanding of themselves. And I know they can. It's just a matter of wanting it and seeking it out. It's a matter of reaching into that place inside you that knows there is something more and then manifesting it. It's not about adding anything to your personality, or following someone else's way of doing things. Those I find to be fleeting, but this is authentic. I am playing with seeing all the aura colors because I want everyone to experience what I experienced...
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